


The Purity of Water

by soundlessAsdots



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Crimes & Criminals, F/F, Past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23465662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundlessAsdots/pseuds/soundlessAsdots
Summary: Pearl and Rose take a break to see other people. It's only for a month, then they'll get back together. Pearl wants to use this time to work on her PhD in Marine Sciences, but Amethyst convinces her to go out and actually participate in the agreement.During Pearl and Rose's separation, the town permits Rose's mother, a real estate developer, to build a subdivision near the coast. The construction threatens the water quality in the local estuary. While Pearl tries to use her research to stop the development, Rose resorts to radical and dangerous environmental activism to stop her mother.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 29





	1. Stagnant

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not a scientist and I googled all of the science in this story. So there is a pretty good chance I got a lot of it wrong.

Pearl Mulloy loved two things: marine ecology and her girlfriend Rose. 

A raw, red blister festered on the back of Pearl's heel. Her white Keds were soggy and heavy with water. Splat sounds amplified after each step she took in her apartment complex's parking lot. Earlier, when she unpacked her hatchback, she could not find her waders to go into the shallow waters of the river to get test samples. She had to do without. Now, in addition to her shoes, the ends of her navy blue shorts were damp. The scratchy fabric clung to her pale legs, chafing her sensitive skin. She wanted to change and lie down before she had to go back out on a boat to take samples in the estuary near the bay.

Frequent and accurate water samples from the bodies of water around the local river, estuary, bay, and ocean were imperative to her thesis for her PhD in Marine Sciences and Conservation.

But that was not going to happen today. Rose, wanted to "talk." 

Pearl ascended her apartment building's staircase. She left the white Ked tennis shoes outside of her door next to the welcome mat, the one that Rose picked out. The cursive, glittery letters spelled out "Welcome." Pearl would have preferred it to be blank. Her introversion extended to all aspects of her life, while Rose wanted to be friends with everyone. Pearl found the spontaneous, positive personality of Rose to be refreshing. Without Rose, she would be a complete recluse. 

She took off her socks, twisting them to wring out excess water, and opened the door to her and Rose's apartment. 

Normally, they were excited to see each other. However, for the past three days, they had been avoiding each other at all costs. The rift in their relationship started last year when Pearl found out they could legally get married in Massachusetts and Rose answered with, "But we live in Delmarva." Ever since, it had been slowly chipping away. Part of it had to do with Pearl pushing to make it official. Pearl knew it was a mistake, but she could not help it. She had loved Rose for almost ten years, almost half her life, and being with someone else was not a possibility that entered her mind. After meeting in high school and beginning a romantic relationship shortly after, Pearl had not been with anyone else. Neither had Rose. 

Last week, Pearl took Rose out on the boat, waited for the sun to set, and dropped the question of marriage. Describing the result as a disaster would be an understatement. Rose said, "I don't know. I need some time to think about it," which Pearl found to be worse than a rejection. 

Rose sat at the kitchen table. The low lights created a shadow over her eyes. Her fingers picked at the skin of her cuticles. Pearl knew Rose was nervous and had probably decided on her answer. Pearl stood near the front door, clutching her backpack like a stuffed animal. 

"Hi," Pearl said. 

"Hi." 

"I'm going to change first." 

"I'll be here." 

Pearl dropped her backpack on one of the kitchen chairs and then changed into sweats and a t-shirt. Back in the living-dining room, Rose had moved to the couch, underneath the collection of framed photos that created a timeline of their relationship. The last time Pearl added a picture was over a year ago. For Rose it was two years ago, when they moved in together.

Pearl sat next to her and reluctantly looked up toward Rose. She looked so beautiful. Pearl took in the way Rose's brown eyes always seemed to be apologizing. It might be over. Rose obviously had reservations and Pearl did not know why. She was too afraid to ask. 

Rose explained that did not want to break up. That would be too extreme. She still loved Pearl after all. She just felt "quite lost right now," and had to figure out why. 

"It's a break," Rose said. 

"Like in _Friends_?"

Pearl was disgusted that Rose would even think of using a sitcom story line as a model for a real-life relationship. 

"Not exactly. That's ridiculous, Pearl." Rose shifted in her seat. "This is entirely different than that." 

"It doesn't sound like-" 

"I love you." Rose took Pearl's hand in a tight grip. 

"I love you too." 

"I don't want to break-up. I can't lose you. It would just be for a month, so we can see other people. You know? When the month is over, we can be together again and, you know, get engaged." 

Pearl felt her eyes burn as she restrained her tears. Even though, for Pearl, it seemed like Rose's feelings came out of nowhere, it was likely they did not. 

“Neither of us have been with anyone else.” Rose said. 

”I know.”

Pearl felt like melting into the couch cushions. The direction of this conversation instilled a fear in her she had not felt since she received a rejection letter from Princeton. Once again, the plans she imagined for her life halted. 

“Well, don’t you want to find out what it’s like?” 

Holding in tears became too difficult for Pearl. Although, she did not let out a sob or a cry. It was a silent sadness that she wanted to try and control. Maybe she did want this too? Deep down, conflicting emotions created a jolt of uncomfortable electricity throughout her body. It was like she wanted to faint, but the shock kept her conscious. 

“Oh baby, come here.” Rose took Pearl in her arms. Pearl accepted the pity embrace that made her want to close her eyes and cease to exist. “I love you. Will you consider it? We can set ground rules. Okay? And when the month is over, we can get engaged.” 

A month felt like forever to Pearl. The thought of just sitting and waiting as Rose dated other people made her want to throw up. She wiped her tears and said, "I'm fine. Just a little thrown off." 

"I'm sorry. I should have brought it up before-" 

"I need to go to the bathroom."

Pearl stood up and gave Rose a stoic glance. Everything was fine as long as Pearl acted like it was fine. When she walked to the bathroom, nausea set in. She threw up in her mouth. After opening and closing the bathroom door, she spit out vomit into the toilet. Rose knocked on the door as Pearl sat on the cold, tiled floor next to the toilet, completely baffled about what to do. 

“Pearl? Are you okay? Can I come in?” 

Pearl didn’t answer. The way Rose was so blasé about this made Pearl feel like the world around her was slowly falling apart. Who would she be without Rose? No one. 

"I need to think.” Pearl curled up, hugging her knees against her chest. 

Moments later, she left the bathroom. Rose was waiting outside the door. The frown on Rose’s face stood out to Pearl and it was the only thing she remembered before grabbing her jacket and leaving the apartment. 

Rose followed her.

“Wait!”

Rose waved Pearl down as Pearl descended the stairs of their apartment building. 

“I’m going to come back. Don't worry.” Pearl froze, looking up at Rose on the floor above her. “I just need to think this over. It’s- you realize this is not conventional in any shape or form?” 

“I realize that.” Rose bit her bottom lip, which made her look adorable. However that only made Pearl feel like a arrow had been shot and become stuck into her chest. 

Avoiding public places would have been preferable for Pearl at this moment, but Garnet was not home and Amethyst was working at the bar, The Temple. Pearl decided to keep walking down the street to see Amethyst. Her shoes were still wet and uncomfortable. The cold ocean breeze from the beach made her toes freeze.

The bight neon cursive sign of The Temple beaconed in the distance. Groups of people gathered outside of the old brick building. Pearl passed them and entered. Friday night was not Pearl’s preferred time to visit Amethyst at work, especially in the summer. Drunk tourists on beach vacations crowded the bar. Their loud, inebriated voices overpowered the music. A static of useless conversation buzzed in Pearl’s ear. 

The Temple was nautical themed even though the name made no sense for it to be. Anchors hung on the wall. Fishing nets dangled from the ceiling. A fake shark head, its teeth broken and chipped from decades of exposure, protruded from the wall. Everything in a beach town had to be nautical themed.  
  
Amethyst stood behind the bar. Her purple hair was piled into a high ponytail. A black tank top clung to her curvy figure. She leaned across the bar, revealing her cleavage, as she handed a round of shots to group of tourists who were obviously having a bachelor’s party weekend. As she took a shot with one of the interested guys, she saw Pearl out of the corner of her eye. 

Amethyst's face had a somber, serious expression. She motioned for Pearl to come over. Pearl took a seat at the end of the bar. In sweats and an old t-shirt, she looked out of place. Like she woke up in the middle of the night and stumbled into the bar. Amethyst met Pearl with a shot of tequila.

”Are you okay?”

”I’m not sure.”

“I think you need this.” Amethyst’s small hand slid the glass over to Pearl. “We’ll do one together. Then tell me what she said.” 

Pearl drowned the shot glass filled with tequila that stung her tonsils as it poured down her throat. “I don’t know where to begin.” 

As Pearl recounted Rose’s idea to take a month break and sleep with other people, Amethyst leaned on the bar, propping herself up by her elbow. Her chin rested in her hand, which moved over to cover her mouth. In the five years that Pearl had known Amethyst, she had never seen this expression on her friend’s face.

After being rejected from Princeton, Pearl was offered a full scholarship to the University of Delmarva. Rose already went there and with Princeton eliminated as an option, it was an easy decision. She met Amethyst at the university’s freshman orientation and they formed a weird friendship from relying on one another for that entire day, despite surfing being the one thing they had in common. Amethyst lasted three semesters as a liberal arts major until she dropped out to be a bartender and professional beach bum. Although they were polar opposites, Pearl considered Amethyst to be one of her best friends. 

“Wow.” Amethyst said. 

“I don’t know how to respond to her. I just came right here.” 

Amethyst paused in deep thought. Her wide eyes looked down at the floor. “She trapped you in an ultimatum.” 

“You think so?” 

“Yeah, dude." Amethyst took a moment, then added. "I still can’t believe you’ve never banged anyone else besides Rose. It’s like puritanical.” 

“It’s not puritanical. We’ve been together since high school and we’ve never broken up.”

Pearl felt her eyes burn with salty tears again. Amethyst leaned over the bar counter, taking Pearl in a tight hug. Pearl buried her face in Amethyst’s neck. Her friend smelled like coconut soap. Just as she became comfortable in the embrace, finally feeling relief, the bachelor party whistled a catcall. 

“Kiss her!” A guy in a polo shirt yelled over the muffled conversations of the other bar patrons. 

Amethyst let go of Pearl, but kept her arm around Pearl’s shoulders. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you!” Amethyst yelled back. Then she muttered, "dickhead." 

Her focus shifted back to Pearl, “This is a really shitty situation. I’m sorry.” 

“You didn’t do anything.” Pearl pushed the shot glass toward Amethyst, who released Pearl from the side embrace and refilled the glass. 

After Pearl took the shot, Amethyst took the glass from Pearl.

“What are you going to do?” 

Pearl shrugged. This choice was a coin toss where the outcome could either be exciting or depressing. A lightheadedness took hold of her. The tequila made its way through her system and now Pearl had to deal with the consequences.

“I think I need a glass of water.” Pearl lowered her head and rested it in her arms on the bar top. 

Amethyst filled Pearl a glass. The sound of liquid plopping into the cup made Pearl sit up. She forgot to take water samples earlier that day for her thesis on estuary and bay water quality. 

“Oh my God!” Pearl slid off the stool. Her balance was a bit off, so she steadied herself on the bar counter.

“Drink some water, P.” Amethyst held Pearl up by the shoulder. “Did you eat today?” 

Pearl forgot to eat as well, but she ignored Amethyst’s question. Rose’s proposal and the aftermath that followed made Pearl forget that she was supposed to go to the estuary today. “I forgot to take samples! I have to go-“

”Hold it!” Amethyst tightened her grip on Pearl’s arm. “It’s dark. You’re drunk as fuck. You’re not going into that river thing to get water samples. You’re gonna, like, fall and get washed out into the ocean by a rip current or something equally terrifying.”

"Rip tide," Pearl said. 

"What?" 

"They're different even though people use them interchangeably. Rip currents are from the water current. And if you swim par-" 

"I've been surfing since I was eight. I know how to get out of a rip current." 

"Fine. But just so you know, a rip tide is a permanent current that exists because of the gravitational force of the moon. It's more powerful than a rip current. The estuaries have them because of the way the water flows into the ocean."

"I didn't ask for an oceanography lesson." Amethyst leaned forward, tilting her head to the side. "The inlet river thing has the rip tide though? Takes you out to the ocean. Huh? That's why it's illegal to swim there?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well that's why you shouldn't be a dumb fuck and collect water samples at night when you're drunk." 

"I know." Pearl sulked even though she appreciated a responsible statement from the usually reckless Amethyst. 

“I gotta get back to my customers. Wait here for Garnet. She’s supposed to come by after work.” 

Pearl watched Amethyst work as she waited for Garnet. Amethyst had a way with people that Pearl sometimes envied. She could make anyone feel like they're her best friend. The world seemed to stop when she talked to someone. Even though Amethyst yelled at the bachelor party earlier, she was still joking and talking to them. They laughed at all her jokes and left her a pile of twenties on the table before they exited the bar for the night. 

Garnet's towering figure stood out in the crowd as she walked through the bar. When Pearl saw her friend her face lit up with hope. 

“Ame paged me.” Garnet took a seat next to Pearl. Her blue and hazel eyes, the result of heterochromia, stared back at Pearl. Garnet was an actuary and worked a minimum of sixty hours a week. “I assume her response was not a good one?” Her British accent, a remnant from spending part of her childhood in Manchester, made Pearl grin.

“I don’t know. She wants us to separate for a month and date-sleep-with-do-it- whatever you wanna call it with other people. Because we've always been together. She says she's lost.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“At first sad. Then sick. Then angry. Then sad again. Now? Well, now I don’t know. I-I suppose we are missing out on something that most people experience. Right?”

“I can’t tell you that, Pearl.”

“Don't you access risk for a living?” Pearl said this with a light, nervous laugh. Seriousness and desperation took over. “What’s my risk?” 

Garnet's eyebrows rose. Pearl wanted someone to tell her what to do. That way she did not have to make a decision and she could move on in confidence that the choice was a good one. 

"I know you're thinking she will probably leave you if you don't agree to this. I don't think that's necessarily true." Garnet took a glass of light beer from Amethyst. "You need to do what's best for you." 

"If it's any consolation, I think you should just say fuck it and go wild. That's what's best for you," Amethyst said, resting her arm on the bar counter.

"Of course you do." Pearl rolled her eyes in a dramatic fashion. She was drunk and she wanted Amethyst to know how annoyed she was with her. 

"You're missing out, Pierogi. I'm not going to lie to you. Do you think Rose is going to be a nun for the next month? She's the one who suggested this," Amethyst said. Her hand reached under the bar, revealing a bottle of tequila. She poured another three shots. "Who knows? You might even realize that she's-"

"Are those for all of us?" Garnet said, glaring at Amethyst. 

"What? She can handle another one." Amethyst pushed the shot toward Pearl. "Plus we gotta toast to this." 

"To what?" Pearl asked. 

"To your month of freedom." 

"Freedom?" Pearl narrowed her eyebrows. What freedom? She had no idea what she was doing. Her life lacked all of the experience needed to know how to meet someone, seduce them, and ask them on a date. And then the part that happens after a date? Initiating sex? This was going to be a hopeless endeavor. In truth, she wanted to use her month of freedom to collect water and sediment samples, examine those samples, and write her thesis. She pushed the shot back toward Amethyst like it was filled with toxic storm water runoff. "I'd rather let Rose do what she wants for a month. I'll just work on my thesis. Then when it's over, everything will be back to normal." 

"Pearl, she's gonna fuck other people. It's never going to be normal again," Amethyst said. 

"You're freaking her out," Garnet said. 

"Thank you, Garnet." Pearl give Garnet a dramatic hug. 

"I'm speaking the truth." Amethyst folded her arms. 

Garnet pushed Pearl away with a gentle touch and a warm smile. "Think about this. What's the best choice for you? Then make that choice. Okay?" Garnet paused. Her kneaded eyebrows made Pearl feel like she should be more concerned. "If you need somewhere to stay if this goes, well, sideways, you can stay with me and Amethyst." 

"Our couch is mad comfy." Amethyst picked up her shot. 

"Why do you think I'll need a place to stay?" 

"Um," Garnet picked up her shot glass as well and put on a sunny, smiling disposition. "You probably wont need a place to stay. Let's take a shot!" 

Pearl obliged and joined them. However, confusion rang through her head. When she came to the bar earlier, she wanted to cry, curl up in a ball, and cease to exist. Now she almost felt okay. 

Garnet walked Pearl home in silence. Pearl shoved her hands into her jacket and looked down at the jagged, torn up sidewalk. This "break," may not be the worst thing in the world to happen to Pearl. If she was being honest with herself, her relationship with Rose was not like it used to be. At times, there seemed to be a translucent veil between them when they spoke. Pearl had trouble deciphering what, exactly, Rose wanted. Rose said she was lost. Pearl also felt like she had lost part of herself in Rose. She realized they had become stagnant, or at least Rose believed they were stagnant. 

The longer stagnant water stays still, the more dangerous it becomes.

Pearl considered how, at one time, before the stagnant water took on its passive state, it was fresh, clean, and safe to drink. Bacteria, parasites, feces, garbage, algae, and mosquito larvae infiltrate the purity of the water. Anaerobic bacteria and parasites, species that do not require oxygen, thrive. It’s a breeding ground of malaria.

When they passed The Big Donut, Pearl realized they were getting closer to her apartment. The waves from the beach rumbled in the background. 

Human bodies are sixty percent water and scientists conclude that a person can live three to four days without water. Pearl imagined herself stranded in the desert where ingesting stagnant water was her only option for survival. She knew that if you were about to die, it's recommended to drink stagnant water and then try to find help before succumbing to severe nausea and dehydration. She could die of dehydration now or risk drinking the poisoned water. She would always choose to drink the dirty water. That’s how Pearl felt, like she was walking in the middle of nowhere, knowing the clock is running out, all because she had to drink stagnant water to prolong her life by a mere twelve hours.

They made it to Pearl and Rose's apartment building, a generic white and blue condo complex. Pearl was afraid to say goodbye to Garnet. A decision had to be made. She would have to tell Rose what she wanted to do. And she still did not know. 

The only way to solve the deadly environmental hazards ingrained into the stagnant water is to make it flow and move forward. Eventually it will be safe to drink again. Of course, it could also evaporate. 

Pearl did not know if she wanted their relationship to flow in this direction. But if it didn't flow, it would become poison. It would be dead. 

Then what would she do?

"I didn't mean to make you panic with the whole ‘stay with us’ thing," Garnet said. 

"I appreciate it. Really," Pearl said. She paused to kick a rock across the sidewalk. "I don't want to lose her." 

"You wont lose her." 

"You don't know that." 

"Your right. I don't. But it's better to be positive. Isn't it?" 

"I suppose you're right. I've just never been good at that." 

"Never too late to try," Garnet said. "I'll be home. Call me if you need to. All right?" 

Pearl headed upstairs. She knew what she was going to say. Rose sat on their couch, leaning forward with her chin resting in her hands. The creak of the door made Rose's head jerk up."Pearl?"

Pearl closed the front door and leaned against it. Her drunk disposition made her knees lock in place, stopping her from collapsing on the floor.

"I am so sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to do this. I don't want to hurt you. I should have brought this up more gradually. I just sprung it on you because-well you want to get married and, I mean, I do too. What I'm trying to say is I care about being with you and I want to do whatever you feel comfortable with, even if that means we don't do this and get engaged right away." 

"I'll do it," Pearl said. 

"Really? Are you sure?" 

Pearl nodded. Her half-lidded eyes wanted to close. "You know? I think it will be fun." 

Rose scooped her up, embracing Pearl, and lifting her up inches off the ground. "You wont regret this. I love you!" Rose said before peppering Pearl's face with kisses.

This approval made Pearl feel like it could be okay and that it was enough to keep her going another day. This was her twelve extra hours. She would get out of the desert. Garnet told her to think more positively. The break really could be fun and she needed some fun in her life right now. Especially since her life consisted of wet shoes and a rigid schedule. 

That night, Pearl curled up next to Rose, holding onto her like it would surely be the last time even though they did not discuss when the month long hiatus would begin. Pearl was too inebriated to talk about the ground rules. It would have to wait until the morning. Pearl nestled into Rose's side, breathing in the scent of Rose’s silky pink hair and strawberry body wash.


	2. The Bay

Pearl woke up early to take water samples. Rose was asleep and Pearl wanted time alone. She left Rose in the bed, sleeping, and went into the kitchen. She made herself some tea and toast, grazing on one piece as she read the news about Martha Stewart's conviction for conspiracy and obstruction of an agency. Being alone in the apartment gave her a sense of freedom. Without Rose there, she did not need to dictate a reason for why she decided to do something. After she finished her attempt at eating breakfast, Pearl went into the bathroom to take a shower. The sound of the water spraying from the shower head and onto the acrylic tub rumbled throughout the bathroom. Rose would be up in a moment. 

Rose heard her turn on the shower and entered the bathroom, poking her head through the door. "Do you need help today?" 

"Yeah, I'm going on the boat." Pearl poured shampoo onto her hand and rubbed it into her strawberry blonde hair. 

"Can we talk then? About, you know?"

"We can." 

Pearl put on an old t-shirt and some tan shorts. Her chin-length bob was getting long, so she had to pull her hair back with an elastic. After slathering her pale body with sunscreen, Pearl grabbed her field testing equipment. In the kitchen, Rose, dressed in a white sundress, was ready with the cooler, bleach, and a bag of ice. Rose handed Pearl a thermos filled with tea. Pearl grabbed a round pair of sunglasses off the kitchen table and pecked Rose on the lips. Rose put on a sun hat. 

They both packed up Pearl's hatchback. In the car, they drove in silence, which tempted Pearl to put on NPR to drown out the sound of nothing. At the dock, Pearl made sure everything she needed was on the boat. Then she sprayed and wiped down all of her equipment with bleach to ensure the samples would not be contaminated with other substances. The university owned the small fishing boat. Pearl's research allowed her to take it out when she needed to test deep ocean, bay, and estuary water. 

Beach City was located on Fenwick Island, a barrier island. Between the main land and the island, the Indian River Bay and Rehoboth Bay occupied the space, creating a sliver of an island that Beach City sat on. In the distance, Pearl could see the beaches that faced the ocean dotted with tourists, filling up the sand like it was the canvas of a pointillism painting. Back when Pearl surfed, she preferred the early fall because the tourists left and the weather stayed warm. She drove the boat out to the spot she needed to test. They waited to talk. That way Pearl would not mess up the sample. 

Out on the inlet where the ocean met with the bay, Pearl leaned out the side of the boat. Salt stung her nose. She had gloves on. Her hand, holding a thermometer, dunked beneath the water. She held it there until she could get an accurate temperature. Pearl loved science because it could not lie. Either the experiment was done wrong or done correctly. Data could deviate, but if it was tested it enough, an accurate assessment of the truth became clear. Science consisted of facts. People could not tell facts they were wrong. Facts had to be accepted. 

As she recorded the temperature in her notebook, Pearl glanced at Rose. Rose squinted in the sun. The wind blew her long, flowing, curly pink hair across her face. Pearl thought about how beautiful Rose looked on the boat.

Pearl cleared her throat. “Can you hand me a glass bottle?”

Pearl had three different types of bottles. Each had their own purpose. Plastic was used to test for lead. For organic matter and pesticides, you needed to use glass. A clear, sterilized bottle was used for bacteria. The material did not matter. 

Rose looked down as she handed the glass bottle to Pearl. Pearl took a regular bottle of drinking water and poured it into the ocean where she was going to conduct her test. She leaned back down over the boat. Her body hovered over the waves, which worried Rose, but Pearl had been surfing since she was a child and could swim well in deep water with currents. Pearl changed gloves each time she dunked a sample underneath the water. The samples were put into the cooler. 

Rose waited as Pearl filled out a report. Usually she would lounge on the boat or sunbathe as Pearl did this. But today was not any other day. A serious conversation would follow. Pearl’s hand shook as she wrote.

When Pearl was done, she looked back up at Rose. “One month. That’s it.”

“One month.” Rose took Pearl’s hand. She kissed Pearl’s palm and then brought it to her cheek, brushing her cheek against Pearl’s soft skin.

Pearl blushed. If this were a different conversation, Pearl would be breaking a serious university protocol to take Rose right there out on the boat.

“I don’t think we should live together or see each other while we do this,” Rose said.

Pearl gave her a slow, calculated nod. Garnet knew this would happen. Pearl’s heart dropped at the thought of not seeing Rose for a month.

“I’ll stay with Garnet and Amethyst.”

“No, you don’t have to. I know you need a place to keep your lab stuff,“ Rose said. 

“You’d last less than a day at your mother’s,” Pearl said.

Rose worked at a conservation non-profit. Her mother was a commercial real estate developer. Once Rose became outspoken against certain construction projects for environmental reasons, they struggled to have a civil conversation. Rose would say her mother tore up the world, therefore it was up to Rose to sew it back together.

"It might not be that bad." 

"All it's going to take is one conversation about coastal construction and you're going to be at each others' throats." 

"But I can stay there. You need a place to stay," Rose said. 

Pearl understood Rose's implication. Rose had another place to go. Pearl really did not with the exception of Garnet and Amethyst's couch. Although Pearl still spoke to her mother, once her father discovered that her and Rose were more than friends, he stopped speaking to her. 

But being alone in the apartment, adorned with photos of Rose all over the walls, would not allow her to become fully free. 

“I can keep my field lab in my office at school. Plus, Garnet and Ame's couch is mad comfy.”

Rose's lips curled into an amused smile. "So you've been talking to Amethyst about this?" 

"Is it because I used 'mad,' as an adjective?" 

"Yes."

Rose wrapped her arms around Pearl's neck. She removed Pearl's sunglasses so she could look into Pearl's blue-green eyes. The sun beat down bright. Pearl squinted through the painful light. 

The pull of Rose's arms made Pearl move to sit on Rose's lap. She mimicked her partner so their arms were in the same place. 

"I promise you I will come back to you." The confidence in her voice eased Pearl's concerns. "Do you promise?" 

"I promise you I will come back to you," Pearl said. Rose took her into a kiss, which Pearl desperately tried to prolong longer than it should have lasted. 

“No relationships,” Pearl said. Then she felt the need to add. “No falling in love.” 

“Of course not.”

Rose shifted to take Pearl in an embrace. Over Rose's shoulder, Pearl looked out to the green banks of land and forest surrounding the marsh. In the distance, the beach marking their hometown seemed far away. Pearl had never felt so isolated. The wind took Rose's hat off her head. It twisted in the air before landing several hundred feet, floating and bobbing up and down on top of the bay's waves.

"Don't worry. I'll get it," Pearl said. 

Pearl shifted off of Rose and drove the boat closer to the hat floating on top of the water. Leaning off the side of the boat, in a similar way to how she took water samples, Pearl reached out for the hat. Her arm extended, but her fingers could barely touch the hemp brim. She stood up and started to take her shoes off. 

"Don't do it," Rose said.

"Do what?" 

"Jump in to get my stupid hat." 

"What made you think I was going to jump in?" Pearl set her shoes to the side. She took a step up to the gunwale of the boat. 

"I mean it, Pearl." 

"It's not a big deal." 

"You're not wearing a life jacket, which is-" 

"Dangerous near an inlet?" 

"Yes. Also it's illegal to swim here." 

"Weren't you the one who told me that it's only illegal if you get caught?" Pearl stood up on gunwale and held onto the metal pole holding up the bimini. 

"Yes, but that was about smoking weed or protesting or doing something in the name of a good cause. This is different. This is dangerous." 

"It's low tide. Ocean temperature is seventy-three degrees Fahrenheit. No risk of current or hypothermia. People paddle-board through here all the time. I'm fine." 

"I got the hat at a tourist trap merch store! It's not worth it!." 

"Have the ladder ready."

Pearl took a step off of the boat, sinking into the water. The cold shock was refreshing. The dark waters of the Northern Atlantic Ocean made it difficult to see underwater. Pearl opened her eyes anyway. Above her, she could see the light penetrating through the green water. For a brief moment, she stayed like that; floating, weightless suspended in the cool water. She swam underwater until she saw the outline of the hat about her. Part of the hemp brim was sinking as it absorbed the water. Pearl grabbed the hat and rose to the surface. She treaded water and put the hat on her head, as a joke, which she knew Rose would not find funny. But Pearl did.

In the distance she saw Rose, who was now wearing a life jacket. Rose lowered the ladder and she held another life jacket in her other hand. Pearl could tell Rose was frustrated, but she was okay with that. Pearl was frustrated too. Pearl climbed up the ladder. When she stepped back onto the cockpit. Rose handed her a towel and a life jacket. 

"Put this on," Rose said. 

"Oh, come on. You're mad?" 

"I've been mad the entire time you've been doing this. Your carelessness is going to cause you to drown someday. You know that it's illegal to swim here because of the currents." 

"Really? Now I'm the careless one?" Pearl decided not to mention Rose's arrest record. 

Due to Rose's environmental activism, Rose's arrest record consisted of a laundry list of charges that included trespassing, disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, obstructing governmental administration, public nuisance, resisting arrest, blocking traffic, and jaywalking (which Rose thought was completely bullshit). Pearl did not partake to that extent. She either stayed home or bailed once the police broke out their riot gear. She was going to save the world with science. Data does not lie and people would realize that - they had to realize that. 

"It's low tide, Rose. There's no current here right now. It's fine," Pearl said. 

The towel was draped over Pearl's shoulders. Her clothes dripped with water. She held the sun hat in her right hand. Rose sat in the cockpit. She had an exasperated frown on face. Pearl did not want their separation to start with Rose being upset. Then she might not come back. She needed Rose to come back. 

"I'm sorry," Pearl said. 

To makes amends, she walked over to Rose and set the hat onto Rose's pink head. 

"You look really cute in this hat." 

"Thanks." Rose managed to return the gesture with a weak smile. 

Pearl knelt down in front of her and took Rose's hands in her own. "I wont swim in the inlet again. Okay?." 

"Promise?"

"Yes." 

"I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

Rose took Pearl's cheek in her hand and kissed her. They would be okay for now. 

It would be their last night together for a month and in the back of Pearl's mind, a month could be forever. Pearl tried to savor the small moments of their night. She took in the way Rose's pink dress stopped mid-thigh. She memorized the moments where Rose giggled so she could replay them in her head and recall Rose's laugh. When Rose embraced her, Pearl inhaled and took in the sweet, fruity scent of Rose's body wash. As they held hands and walked down the Beach City boardwalk, Pearl circled her fingers against Rose's palm and absorbed the feeling of Rose's velvet skin. 

They went to local vegan restaurant for dinner. Recently Rose became a vegetarian and the only meat Pearl ate was chicken, so they frequently went there. At dinner, Pearl tried to remain normal. A combination of anxiety and awkwardness made her conversations consist of either short, nervous sentences or long, excitable ramblings. 

"Now, don't just work on your thesis for a month," Rose said. 

This made Pearl want to leave. It was true, but Pearl did not want to admit that. Rose knew her too well and probably ascertained Pearl had no intentions of actually fulfilling the agreement. Perhaps Pearl should just go on a hiatus from her thesis and apply for a research position to study the ecology of Antarctic waters? That would be drastic. That would send Rose a message. Rose could do whatever she wanted wanted because Pearl would be in Antarctica fulfilling her potential, advancing her career. 

Last year Pearl's advisor, Dr. Davidson, encouraged her to apply to a research position in Antarctica, but she did not see how it would work since Rose was here in Delmarva. She applied to see if she could get accepted. Then she did, but she would have to leave Rose behind. The idea of that happening stopped her from pursuing it. 

"I wont," Pearl said. 

"I'm serious," Rose said.

"So am I."

"Good." 

"Just don't get arrested while we're apart. If I have to bail you out, we'll break the rules." Pearl said this with a short laugh, hoping to add levity to the situation. Although Pearl found this humorous, the statement was based in truth. Pearl already had to bail Rose out six times this year. Almost once a month. 

"Oh, you know I can't promise that." Rose grinned, which cut the tension. Everything felt normal again.

When they returned home, Rose headed directly into their bedroom. For a moment, Pearl stood in the middle of the room, staring at the floor as Rose undressed. In the back of Pearl’s head, the thought that this could be the last time played liked a song on repeat. Is this it? 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked

”Yup.” Pearl proceeded to take off her own clothes. Rose sat on the edge of the bed and took Pearl’s hand in her own, leading Pearl to sit on her lap. Rose cupped Pearl’s cheeks and kissed her. Pearl, with half a heart kissed her back. 

“Pearl?” 

”Remember what I promised you on the boat?” 

”I do.” 

  
“I mean it. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Okay.” Then they resumed kissing. Mostly because Pearl didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She wanted to feel Rose’s touch against her body. 

That night, Pearl could not sleep. She stared at the wall, wrapped in Rose's arms, hoping Rose would keep the promises she made earlier out on the bay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get more interesting next chapter. Lots of set-up involved with this story.


	3. Waves

In the morning, Pearl packed up her suitcase with enough clothes to wear and wash for the next month. Her water sampling equipment was already in her car. Before she left, Pearl stood outside of her car with the driver's side door opened. Rose approached and twiddled her fingers, picking the skin off of her cuticles. It was a habit Pearl hated. Rose could get an infection. After years of committing gentle hand swats to stop Rose from doing it, Pearl gave up. 

"I love you," Rose said.

"I love you too." Pearl waited for Rose to kiss her goodbye, but they were both frozen in place. 

They did not know what to do next. The longest they had been apart was when Rose took a job as a camp counselor her junior year of high school. That was eight years ago. 

"Okay." Pearl nodded and kissed Rose goodbye. Her arms wrapped around Rose's neck. By pressing up against Rose, she could feel Rose's heartbeat once more. The warmth of Rose's body was too comforting and Pearl did want to let go. Once this ended, they would be apart. If this kiss stopped, Pearl feared she would forget what Rose tasted like. She buried her face into the crook of Rose’s neck. She wanted time to stop at this moment. 

“I’m going to miss you.” Rose’s fingers stroked the back of Pearl’s head. 

“I’ll miss you too.”

Rose cupped Pearl’s cheek. Pearl leaned into Rose’s hand and kissed her soft palm 

“You’re the love of my life, Pearl.” 

Pearl repeated it back to Rose; the words that mean everything until they mean nothing. They said goodbye and, after a short drive, Pearl found herself standing in the doorway of Garnet and Amethyst's small beach cottage. 

"P! We are gonna have a fuck ton of fun!" Amethyst took Pearl's suitcase and pushed it next to the couch. 

Pearl sat down and melted into the couch cushions. It was, as Amethyst put it, "mad comfy." 

"Are you okay?" Garnet stood in the doorway between her bedroom and living room. The cottage was one floor and quite small.The floor plan was open. A kitchen island separated the main living room and the blue kitchen. In its past, the cottage was clearly a seasonal beach house. However, Garnet and Amethyst lived there full-time. Next to the couch was a brown lounge chair. A plasma screen TV connected to an Xbox was against the wall. 

"I have to go to the lab," Pearl said. 

"That's great and all, but are you okay?" Garnet said. 

"Um. Yeah." It sounded like a lie, but in truth she felt fine. And that worried her. 

"You sure?" Amethyst asked. 

"Definitely!" Pearl stood up and grabbed her keys off the living room coffee table. 

Pearl felt at home in the lab. Her white coat was a safety blanket and her microscope served as a totem of consistency. Pearl used a microscope the same way every time. In a world filled with chaos, routine gave Pearl the illusion she was in control. Pearl analyzed her samples and recorded her findings. On this Sunday, none of the other benches were occupied. Pearl preferred to be alone in the lab; her sanctuary 

For the next week, Pearl spent her time adhering to the same strict daily schedule; wake up, get ready, take water samples, go to the lab until nine o'clock, come home to Amethyst and Garnet’s, sit on the coach and watch Amethyst play video games while reading a book, and then sleep. Her life became the back of a shampoo bottle; lather, rinse, repeat, everyday. 

Despite trying to forget about Rose for the time being, her girlfriend permeated every one of Pearl's thoughts. What was Rose doing now? Did she miss Pearl? Did Rose forget her? Was Rose being safe? 

The longer they spent apart, the more Pearl worried. 

After spending a typical day at the lab, Pearl bought a puzzle at the store on her way home from work. At Garnet and Amethyst's, the sound of Kanye West filled the cottage. Amethyst, dressed in jeans and a black, frilly tank top, looked like she was about to go out somewhere. In the kitchen, she mixed drinks of vodka and lemonade. "Pearl! Finally! What the hell have you been doing?" 

"My job?" Pearl took out the puzzle from the canvas bag she used instead of the plastic store ones. 

"I know that, but it's the weekend and you wasted the first two days of your first weekend of freedom." Amethyst handed Pearl a glass of pink lemonade that smelled like sugar and vodka. 

Pearl's nose scrunched at the overpowering, burning scent of the drink. “Can I use the kitchen table to do this puzzle?” 

“You’re gonna do a puzzle? You can’t be serious.” Amethyst looked down at the fifteen hundred piece puzzle of the Notre Dame Cathedral like it was an injured baby bird. It was a look of pity and it embarrassed Pearl. 

"Yeah, I'm going to do a puzzle while watching _That 70's Show_ reruns." 

"Oh, Pierogi.” Amethyst shook her head. “You’re not spending this month doing lame puzzles.”

“I happen to love puzzles. They’re not lame.” Pearl folded her arms. Puzzles were a fun, engaging challenge. Everything she needed was there. Nothing missing. All she had to do was copy the picture on the front of the box and it would be complete. 

“Do you think that's what's Rose is doing? Puzzles?" 

"I don't care what Rose is doing." Pearl walked over to the sink and held the drink over it. 

"Wait!" Amethyst took the lemonade out of Pearl's grip and set it on the counter. "Is this what you're going to do for this whole month?" 

"Probably," Pearl said. "Where's Garnet?" 

"In her room." Pearl started to walk over to Garnet's bedroom door. "Hold it!" Amethyst ran in front of Pearl, blocking her way. "You don't want to bug G right now?" 

"And why is that?" 

"She's prepping for tomorrow. You know, relaxing. Like she needs her time or she'll lose it at work. Too much stress, like, breaks her." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, it's not cool. Let her be." Amethyst took Pearl by the shoulders and guided her back to the kitchen. "I know you think I'm ridiculous, but I'm right." 

Pearl sighed. "What do you want to do?" 

"I want you to dress up cute and go out to this bar in Rehoboth with me. We're going to find out what you've been missing." Amethyst picked up the pink drink and held it in front of Pearl's face. "This month, you're going to have fun, get laid, and go surfing. Okay?" 

Amethyst was right in some respects. Pearl knew she could wallow on the couch all month, watch sitcoms, and work on her thesis. Although she tried not to think about it, she lost part of herself in Rose. The idea of unfettered freedom made her chest tighten in anxious excitement. Pearl drank the vodka lemonade. Then she changed into a blue and white striped dress shirt, but kept on her pair of jeans.

”I thought I told you to dress cute,” Amethyst said. 

”I’m not changing. Do you want to go or not?” Pearl crossed her arms. 

”You look great!” Amethyst forced a smile. 

On a side street, Pearl and Amethyst sat in Amethyst's Toyota Corolla, which only passed inspection because her cousin owned a garage. Amethyst twisted the key several times, only for the car to make a coughing sound. "I'll get it eventually," Amethyst said. 

"We can take my car," Pearl said. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you had more than one of those lemonades." 

Pearl drove, taking Amethyst's directions down the northern coast of the island. 

"This is it!" Amethyst pointed to a bar on the main boardwalk strip in Rehoboth. 

This prompted Pearl to pull over and find a parking space. They circled the block several times, which made Pearl reconsider this Sunday night excursion. 

"Maybe we should go home?" 

"I knew you'd say that," Amethyst said. "Wait! Right there!" She pointed to an empty parking space. 

Under the purple and blue lighting on the bar, Pearl felt like she was underwater. The modern decor of this bar made The Temple look like a tourist novelty store. She ordered a vodka cranberry at the bar and waited next to Amethyst, who scanned the room. 

"We're going to find you someone," Amethyst said. 

"Why are you so excited about this?"

"Why aren't you more excited about this? Your girl just gave you the go ahead to literally bang any person you want!" 

"Sometimes I feel like if I saw the world like you did, I would-" 

"Have less anxiety problems?' 

"Something like that."

"Let's find you someone." Amethyst scanned the room. She pointed to a tall brunette woman. "How about-no. Not her." 

"I think she's quite-" 

"I've slept with her before. So that's a no go." 

"Seriously?" 

"Pearl, we're going to run into this problem. Please respect that." Amethyst sighed. "Besides, she sucks. If she didn't suck, it'd be all right. You don't want to get involved with what she has going on. Trust me." 

Pearl considered asking Amethyst to elaborate, but she did not care to go down the rabbit hole that was Amethyst's love life. While Amethyst found excitement in this, Pearl had no idea what to do. She thought about how she met Rose at school in pre-calculus. It involved a lot of eye contact. Pearl had a habit of staring at Rose in class and as much as she tried to stop, she found it impossible and embarrassing. It sent a message though. It worked. She looked around the bar in a sea of strangers' faces, searching for another pair of eyes. A tall, burly woman with long, lush blonde hair and a flannel shirt started to approach Pearl. 

"Someone is coming over here." Pearl took a long sip of her cranberry vodka. 

"Who?" 

"Blonde. Strong. Flannel. She's-" 

"Your type?" 

"My type is-" 

"Rose. Yes. Boring. Blah."

"Rose isn't boring. She's beautiful, thoughtful, caring, smart, sensitive and-" 

"What I mean is, it's no fun to order the same thing every time you go to a restaurant."

"But I usually do order the same thing at a restaurant." 

"That's not my point! Or wait, no that's exactly my point. You need to try new things!" 

The blonde woman weaved through the crowded bar. Her green eyes, like a predator, narrowed at Pearl. Pearl's mouth became dry and her stomach dropped. She prepared herself for flirty conversation. Then someone tapped her on the shoulder. Behind her a woman of similar height and blue hair smiled at her. Thank God. 

When the woman moved, her dress looked like waves. Pearl forgot about the blonde woman approaching her.

"Lapis," she said. 

"Pearl." 

"Cool. Can I buy you another vodka cranberry?" 

Pearl paused to answer. People had hit on her before. She usually said no and therefore was programmed to respond that way. As her brain tried to form a sentence, a small pain jolted the back of her knee. Amethyst had kicked her and was now nodding at Pearl. 

"Yeah," Pearl said. "I'd like that." 

As they started talking, Pearl discovered Lapis owned a local art store where she sold pottery and sculptures in addition to giving classes. 

"Oh, I've been there before!" Pearl said. Rose made her go in once to buy a vase for their kitchen table. Rose started a garden on the windowsill and wanted a place to display flowers after she picked them. 

"People love going on a beach vacation and taking a pottery class. I can't explain it, except that it's therapeutic and low pressure." Lapis grinned at Pearl. Her hand reached out and her body moved closer to Pearl so her fingers could play with the ends of Pearl's hair. "What do you do?"

"I'm getting a PhD in Marine Science and Conservation at UDM." 

"Nice. I could tell you're smart." 

"Why would you say that?" 

"The way you talk." The music made Lapis's voice muted and Pearl only caught every few words she said. 

"Do you want to go outside?" Pearl asked. 

Outside they stood against the exterior stone wall of the bar. The wind from the ocean brought salt into the air from the evaporated mist of crested waves. Pearl could feel it sticking to her skin, which now bubbled with goosebumps along her arms. A chill hit Pearl's spine like she was slowly walking through a marsh in waders in the winter. She wished she brought a coat with her.

Lapis smoked a cigarette. "You want a drag?" 

"Um, I don't really smoke. I have mild asthma and-" 

"I think you should take one drag."

Lapis stood in front of Pearl. She brought the cigarette up to Pearl's lips and leaned into Pearl's body. Pearl breathed in for a moment as the wave of another person's body heat curbed her chills. Lapis's hand rested on Pearl's hip. Her thumb circled the stripe of skin between Pearl's shirt and pants. Pearl inhaled the cigarette. Upon exhaling, she coughed, covering her mouth with her elbow. Lapis dropped the cigarette on the ground. Her face moved closer until their lips were inches away from each other. 

For the first few seconds, all Pearl could do was compare Lapis to Rose. They both had brown eyes. Lapis's cheekbones were higher, which Pearl decided she liked. Her lips were not as full, but Pearl would not mind sucking on them. Lapis had a lithe, skinny body. Rose had curves. Pearl did not know if she could go through with it, but the memory of Rose mocking Pearl for wanting to dedicate all of her free time toward her thesis during this month-long break drove Pearl to kiss Lapis. 

When Lapis pulled away, Pearl gave her a closed lipped smile.

"Nervous?" Lapis asked. 

"What? No?" 

"No? You don't sound so sure. You want to stop?" 

"No. I want to keep going.” Pearl wanted to press up against this new woman and find out what her body felt like. 

"Remember what I said about working with clay being low pressure? So is this." 

Kisses dotted Pearl's jaw until Lapis's lips met with Pearl's again. Pearl let herself enjoy the smooth movements of Lapis's tongue for the next hour. Lapis played with the ends of Pearl’s hair, her finger twirling the strawberry blonde locks. Every once in a while, their teeth would clash and Pearl would mutter, "sorry," feeling as if it were her fault for the clumsiness. 

A serenity came over Pearl until Lapis shoved her bare thigh between Pearl's legs. Pearl's hand ran along Lapis's smooth, tan thigh and up her skirt until it rested on the woman's hip, feeling an elastic underwear string. The boldness of this move made Pearl want to sink into the depths of the ocean. Just last week, she was collecting water samples on the boat with Rose. Now she was about to fuck another woman in the alley. 

"Do you want to watch a movie at my apartment?" Lapis asked. 

"Like now?" 

"Of course now." 

Being in an apartment with privacy would ease Pearl's anxiety. Pearl looked at her watch. It was past midnight and the bar would be closing soon. It was as if time warped while she was making out with Lapis. "I would love to- Oh, shoot! Amethyst." 

"'Oh, shoot?' Gosh darn'it, what did you forget?" If Pearl had not just been kissing this woman for the past hour, she would have been slightly insulted by this sarcastic remark, but the amused smile on Lapis's face, made her laugh. 

"My friend. I drove her here. Hold on, I have to find her. I'll be right back." 

Amethyst waited at the front of the bar, talking to a bouncer about how surfing should be in the Olympics being held in Athens next month. 

"There's no surf in Greece. I've been there," the bouncer said. 

"Seriously?" Amethyst said. 

"Yeah, there's like no wind in the Mediterranean." 

Before Amethyst could answer, she saw Pearl. "Dude! You're alive." She turned back to the bouncer. "See yah, Drake!" Amethyst rushed over to her. "Where's the blue hair girl?" 

"Her name is Lapis." 

"You really have a thing for artificial hair colors, don't you?" Amethyst's lips curled into a coy smile. Clearly she was making fun of Pearl and addressing the fact that she had purple hair. Sporadic flirting was as far as she would go with her best friend. 

Pearl took a moment to give Amethyst a grin. "I guess you could say that. Um, she wants me to go back to her apartment." 

"Sweet. Good job, P. I knew you had it in you! Where does she live? You know, just in case she ends up being a psycho, it'll be nice to know where you are." 

"She owns the pottery store in town and lives above it. So that's where I'll be, I guess." Pearl knew she was blushing and the embarrassment made her grimace in anticipation for Amethyst's reaction. "Have you been drinking?" 

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Nothing since before we left for the bar. I've been drinking soda." 

"Good." Pearl's arm extended out with a mechanical motion. The keys dangled between her fingers. "Please be careful driving my car. I have equipment in there that I still need to drop off at the lab." 

Amethyst grabbed the keys. "Cool. Yeah, nerd, I'll take a hammer to all your stuff while you're gone, don't worry." 

"Very funny." 

"You know you wanna laugh." Amethyst allowed herself a proud smile. She set her hands on Pearl's shoulders. "You got this, dude. Relax. She thinks you're hot. I can tell. So basically, you have this. All right?" 

"All right." Pearl said. 

"Be safe." 

"You too." 

Lapis drove Pearl back to her apartment. Her car was a mess. Boxes were stacked up in the backseat. 

“Tell me something interesting about yourself,” Lapis said. 

Besides this? Pearl decided to avoid the topic of her and Rose’s deal. “I’ve been arrested before.” 

Lapis slowly turned her head toward Pearl. “What.” 

“Oh, it was nothing like that! Oh God, you probably think- let me explain better, I was protesting.” 

“You should probably lead with that next time.”

“Note taken.”

“They arrest people for that? Protesting?”

“I mean, people get arrested in protests all the time. I was charged with blocking an entrance to a forest. We-I was in a tree. They-a logging company-was going to cut it down. So, we went up there for a summer.” 

“Wait...you were in the tree for a summer? How did you, you know...?”

Pearl turned red. The only other time she had to explain her arrest was on her application to graduate school and that was written. The charges were dropped and she had to do community service. Besides, it was all Rose's idea. Pearl would have written a letter to a Congressman. Rose did not believe in using legitimate political channels because, "lobbying exists." The protest occurred between the summer between Pearl's junior and senior year of college. Instead of taking an internship at marine engineering company, Pearl sat in a tree. Rose could convince her to do anything. From an outsider's view, Pearl was arrested for saving a tree, but deep down, Pearl knew was actually arrested for Rose. 

"I'd rather not. It's gross and-" 

"I don't get grossed out easily." 

"Okay." Pearl cleared her throat and prepared herself to die from embarrassment. ”Jars. Canvas bags. Also we took shifts for a week at a time. So I wasn’t up there for the entirety of three months.” 

Lapis winced, but she had a smile on her face. “Wow. So did you save the tree?” 

“Actually we saved acres of trees.” For a moment, Pearl was at ease. 

They made mundane conversation about Lapis's art school alma mater. They entered through the pottery studio, filled with half-finished work. Dry clay dusted every surface. In a section in the back, large, glass sculptures shaped like faces lined the walls. They ascended the back staircase that led to Lapis's apartment, which was a one-room studio. Lapis set her purse on a hook and took her shoes off. Pearl did the same. Pearl's pulse accelerated in anticipation for what would happen next. Lapis walked by her bed. 

"Take a seat." Lapis patted a spot on the edge of the bed. "Sorry, it's a bit cluttered." 

Pearl navigated through stacks of books. The shelved and bookcases were filled with paint brushes and art supplies. Pearl questioned the logic of using book shelves for something other than books, only to allow the books to accumulate into multiple, messy piles. 

"I just got out of a thing. A long term thing. We lived together, so I'm not used to having all of this stuff in here." 

"Oh, okay. Um, no worries." 

"I hope that doesn't scare you." She took out a DVD from her bookshelf and put it in the DVD player. 

"What would scare me?" 

"That I just got out of a long term thing. Sometimes it can freak people out." 

"I'm-actually I'm in a similar position right now." 

"Cool." 

"Yes, cool." 

With one look, they had a mutual understanding of what this meant. It would be casual. They would never meet each others' families. Friends would be a maybe - only if they ran into one another on the boardwalk. When they were together, they would never talk about what it meant. 

“I like you.” Lapis sat down on the bed next to Pearl.

Pearl laughed. This comment seemed random. ”I like you too. And you’re, well you’re gorgeous.” 

“Thanks.” Lapis grinned. “I really like your eyes. Beautiful.”

Pearl had seen the movie before, but it didn't really matter. Minutes after the movie started Lapis took Pearl into her arms and resumed their make out session in the alley. Lapis straddled Pearl's lap, which surprised Pearl, as she was the one who usually sat on Rose's lap. Lapis reached behind her own back, and untied the halter top of her dress. The dress fell down around Lapis, creating a puddle of blue around her waist and revealing her bare chest. It was getting real and Pearl froze at the idea of moving this forward. But that's where she knew she needed to go.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Lapis said. 

Lapis wanted her to be more dominant.

“Stand up and let your dress fall off.” Pearl worried her confidence would come off as false. It was a facade Pearl needed for herself to bury her anxiety. 

Lapis listened and stood up, in front of the bed. Her dress slid off her waist and onto the floor. Lapis started to take her underwear off. 

”Keep those on. I mean, if you want to. I mean, I want you to, but I want you to, want to also." Pearl closed her eyes, wishing she was not a nervous wreck. 

"Low pressure, Pearl. Low pressure." Lapis's voice was a gentle, understanding whisper. She resumed her position on Pearl's lap, setting her arms around Pearl's neck. 

"Keep those on." Pearl said it again with a low tone. Her chest pounded when she realized how the words spilled out of her mouth. 

“You like my underwear?” 

“Yes. A lot.” Pearl's fingers traced the lace string with her finger. Her hands cupped Lapis’s behind. Every new movement made Pearl forget about the circumstances that brought her here. 

Upon the removal of clothes, Pearl took pleasure in the touch of a new person. She likened the experience to when her and Amethyst went to Cocoa Beach in Florida to go surfing. The waves towered in comparison to the ones at Dewey Beach. At first Pearl sat on her board, watching in intimidation. Her timidness made the anticipation build up in her chest. When she finally got on a wave, the sound of the water deafened her. The adrenaline of the rise to the crest was as intoxicating as the fall. She had to be attuned to the movement of the water beneath. As her speed accelerated, she took a bottom turn toward the beach, and she had to maintain her balance if she wanted to continue riding the wave. Although it felt dangerous and her heart wanted to explode, it was the most thrilling feeling in the world. 

Pearl's newfound confidence made her feel like she was in control. Whatever Rose was doing or planned to do for the next month did not concern her at this moment. 


	4. Samples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for context, it's 2004 in this story. I put some subtle hints in, but I'm not sure if it's clear. That's why Pearl's boss does not realize she has a cell phone. They weren't universal just yet as of 2004.

Pearl lay in bed and watched Lapis pour a glass of water from the kitchenette sink. On Lapis's back, Pearl observed two tattoos. One one her shoulder, was a circle that looked as if it were drawn on her by a paintbrush. The other was a series of blue and green waves in a triangle. Pearl replayed what happened in her head. Did she sound like a jackass? Lapis seemed like she enjoyed it. The possibility that Pearl embarrassed herself made her blush. What if Lapis pitied Pearl's nervous disposition? 

She missed the confidence she had Rose. In shame, Pearl rolled over and buried her head in the pillow. Everything would be fine. Lapis hopped onto the bed and sat cross-legged next to Pearl. 

"Water?" Lapis extended the cup to Pearl.

Pearl sat up and accepted the water to cleanse her dry mouth. Her gaze caught Lapis's brown eyes as she sipped the water from the plastic cup. Pearl hated plastic, but she chose to keep her thoughts to herself. Nobody liked being lectured. Although they had just slept together, Pearl felt more intimacy with Lapis from sharing the cup than from sleeping with her. Pearl got off the bed and found her underwear on the floor. As Pearl started to put on her jeans, Lapis said, "Leaving so soon?" 

Pearl stopped. Her jeans were on, but the zipper and button were still open. "I-" 

"It's three-AM. I can drive you home, but there's no way you're walking home. A cab will probably take at least a half-hour to get here.You know, or you could always just stay here and we both can actually sleep." Lapis got up and walked over to a small closet. She took a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants out of a closet drawer and threw them at Pearl. Then she grabbed a t-shirt for herself and put it on. 

Pearl glanced down at the pajamas in her hands. The t-shirt and sweatpants looked comfortable and inviting. 

"I mean, I guess I'll stay." 

"Cool." Lapis rose her eyebrows. She shut the light off and got into bed.

Pearl changed into the pajamas. They smelled like floral dryer sheets. In bed, Lapis was on her side, looking over at Pearl. Getting in bed to sleep next to another person-a person Pearl just had sex with-was strange. However, Pearl liked Lapis's brown eyes and soft hands. She liked the way Lapis's body felt in her arms. Pearl slipped under the blankets, next to Lapis in bed. 

Lapis curled up next to Pearl, resting her head on Pearl's shoulder. "This okay?" 

"It's fine." 

"I-I just sleep better when I'm next to someone." 

"It's fine. You're cozy." Lapis smelled like vanilla and clay. Pearl found it to be a soothing scent. Like a candle. 

"You're cozy too." Lapis closed her eyes and wrapped her arm around Pearl's stomach. "So, how'd you stay up in the tree without falling?" 

"Harnesses and ropes." 

"How'd you sleep up there?" 

"You have to position yourself so you're hanging on a branch, resting your back against the tree." 

"Comfortable." Lapis's sarcasm was followed by a yawn. "So you're an environmentalist." 

"Kind of. My..." Pearl almost said her girlfriend was the actual environmentalist. But she didn't really have a girlfriend at this moment. Pearl did not consider herself one though. For many reasons. Like how Pearl used the dishwasher (when Rose was not around), while Rose would wash each plate by hand in this careful way that took twice as long as the normal way, but apparently reduced the amount of water she used. An environmental group they met at a protest told Rose this was better. This was only one of the reasons Pearl did not call herself an environmentalist. "I'm a scientist." 

"Can't you be both?" 

"Yes. But I'm not really one-an environmentalist that is." 

Lapis opened her eyes and looked up at Pearl in the dark. "You lived in a tree for a month. I think you can call yourself an environmentalist." 

"But I don't compost and I use the dishwasher." Rose composted. Rose picked up trash for fun. Sometimes Pearl helped. But she hardly did it alone. It was all Rose. 

"Are dishwashers bad?" 

"I don't actually know. I would need to read a study." Rose also never actually read a study to find out if this was true. That's what made Pearl a scientist. 

Then they were silent. Lapis drifted off. Her chest rose up and down against Pearl's body. The warmth of another person next to her made Pearl feel like a human being again. Sleeping alone was cold. 

In bed, Pearl stared at the angled, dormered ceiling. Claustrophobia set in. The walls felt like they were enclosing. Pearl made the mistake of imagining what Rose was doing now. Who was she with? Was she awake? Then she felt stupid for thinking about it. Pearl lay back down and closed her eyes, forcing herself to think about nothing. 

Pearl woke up to a soft voice saying, "Hey." Lapis lay next to her, stroking Pearl's arm. "I have to open my studio in an hour." 

"Oh, sorry." The gunk in Pearl's eyes made her want to wash her face. 

"Weird question." Lapis's hair was tangled and her part went in several directions. 

"Okay..." 

"What kind of body lotion do you use. Your skin is like, wow-so fucking soft." 

"Just, like, regular Eucerin body lotion." 

"Nice. You want to take a shower?" 

"Um-" Pearl looked at her watch. It was nine in the morning. "Shit. I'm supposed to be at the lab!" 

Pearl got out of bed and picked up clothes from the floor. Panic set in and she started changing. 

"What time do you normally go to the lab?" 

"Eight thirty." Pearl let out a sigh. 

"I'll drive you. First though, I'm going to need your phone number." 

"My phone number?" 

"Yeah. So we can do this again." 

"You want to do this again?" 

"Do you always question everything people say?" 

"Do I-no. I don't. What I mean, is - this- what just happened last night, you want to do this again?" 

"I had fun. I'm pretty sure you had fun. So, you know, I thought you'd want to have fun again." 

"I do!" 

Lapis gave Pearl a notepad to write her phone number down on. In loopy, neat cursive, Pearl wrote her name under the phone number. Seeing Lapis again could be fun. 

"Sweet," Lapis said. 

Pearl decided to wear her clothes from last night. She hoped her lab coat would conceal that her clothes were dirty. Lapis wore her t-shirt and pajama shorts. When they left the apartment, Lapis slid into a pair of flip flops. 

In the car, Lapis put on a Death Cab for Cutie CD and explained she loathed the radio. Before she put the car in drive, she popped a stick of mint gum in her mouth and offered Pearl some. Pearl had not brushed her teeth, so she was grateful for the minty palate cleanser. They rode together in silence for the ten minute car ride.

In all its nineteen-seventies' brutalist architecture glory, the lab stood next to the water. Long, darkened windows adorned the concrete stone on the outside of the building. Lapis pulled over to the front of the lab. She blew a small bubble. After it popped, she said, "Well, here we are." 

"Yup." Pearl turned toward Lapis, unsure of what to do next. 

"I'll call you." 

"Okay." 

"The store closes at six. My last classes end at nine. Then I usually eat dinner. Expect a call at ten." 

"At night?" 

"Is that a problem?" 

"No." Pearl let out a nervous laugh. "Why would that be a problem?" 

"Probably not tonight though." 

They both sat in the car in an awkward silence. Pearl contemplated if she should kiss Lapis goodbye. Just as she decided to go for it, Lapis said, "Well, have a good day and all." 

"You too." Pearl stopped herself and got out of the car. 

Before entering the lab, Pearl changed into her coat, covering the evidence of the truth concerning her tardiness. All five of the lab benches were filled. Eyes stared at her. Pearl was never late. 

"She lives!" A grad student named Peridot said. "You look like hell."

Peridot was a Marine Engineering masters student. She was building a robot that could take water and sediment samples from deep areas of the ocean. She did not spend nearly as much time in the lab as Pearl, but when she was in the lab, she spent every waking moment attempting to impress Dr. Davidson, the program advisor. This was one of the many reasons Pearl found Peridot to be grating. Every time Pearl entered the lab and saw Peridot's blonde head at her bench, Pearl was compelled to turn around and leave. 

"Thanks," Pearl said with a sigh. 

"Dr. Davidson's been freaking out. I told him that if you weren't here, there was a good chance you were dead. Then he called the docks to see if the boat was still there. And it was, so he was like, okay she didn't drown on the university's boat. So we're not liable. Then-" 

"Why is he freaking out?" Pearl asked. 

"Something about the mayor calling." 

"Why would the mayor call us?" 

"I don't know." 

Pearl shook her head. Peridot was useless. She walked past the other students working to the back of the lab to Dr. Davidson's office. Pearl stood in front of the door and tried to come up with an excuse for being late. As she was going to knock, the door flew open. Dr. Davidson, a man with graying hair, glasses, and unkempt five-o'clock shadow appeared. 

"Rose said she's not home! There's a good chance she's dead-Oh, Pearl! Thank God. Where the hell have you been?" He spoke with a Scottish accent, which Pearl found to be soothing even when he panicked. "You use the boat more than anyone and, well, when you don't come in without calling first, it's a bit terrifying." 

"It's-I wasn't feeling well." 

"Then why weren't you home?" 

"You don't have my cell phone number?" The reason why Pearl was not home did not concern Dr. Davidson. 

"You have a cell phone?" 

"Yes." Pearl buried her face in her hands. "What's going on?"

"The mayor wants to meet with us this afternoon! He wants to see your research on the water quality in the bay."

"Really?" 

"Yes, so go grab you research and..." He looked her up and down. "Maybe change into something nicer? Put some make-up on?" 

Pearl chose not to respond her advisor's sexist suggestion she put make-up on. "I'll go get my research." 

"Meet me in front of the town hall at one. He's taking us to lunch!" 

"Oh, great..." The thought of sitting with the mayor for upwards of an hour at a restaurant made Pearl want to crawl into a corner and die. 

"Go, hurry- change and make yourself presentable!" 

After grabbing some papers from her lab bench, Peridot looked up from her robot. Her glasses hung on the tip of her nose. "Sounds important." 

"It is."

"Don't choke." 

"I wont." Who the hell did Peridot think she was?

”You know, someday what you do will be outdated.”

”Your robot only does a tenth of what I do.”

”You're just jealous.”

”Look. I know what you want to do. My original major was engineering. You want to patent that stupid thing you’re working on.” 

”Of course I want to parent it.” 

“Real estate development companies will eat it up. But that’s not what Dr. Davidson wants. Yes, a robot can take samples, but they can’t do what I do.” 

”Enlighten me on the difference.” 

”I actually care what happens. That robot just wants to take samples.” 

Pearl left the lab. She did not need to hear Peridot’s opinion on this so she went into her office down the hall. She sorted through her papers, taking only the necessary information. Pearl rushed out of the lab building, cradling bundles of papers in her arms. Her eyes scanned the parking lot for her car. Then she realized Lapis drove her there. 

If she walked to Garnet and Amethyst's, it would take twenty minutes. If she called Amethyst to pick her up, it would likely take three phone calls just to contact Amethyst and then another thirty minutes for Amethyst to actually leave the apartment and drive Pearl's car to the lab. 

Pearl chose to power walk. After breaking a sweat in the July heat, she made it to the small, blue cottage. Inside, Amethyst was lounging on the couch and playing a video game that involved shooting aliens in space. 

"Pearl!" Amethyst stood up, ignoring the game and dropping her controller on the ground. "You fucking stayed over, didn't you?" 

Pearl dropped her paperwork on the kitchen table. "Yeah." She rushed over to her suitcase and began sorting through her clothes. 

"How was it?" 

"A lot of fun," Pearl allowed herself a smile. In her suitcase, she found several sun dresses, but none of them were adequate for the meeting. The only shoes she had at Garnet and Amethyst's were boat shoes, rain boots, and sandals. Buying clothes was not an option. She was living on a stipend and therefore was broke. She knelt in front of the suitcase, defeated. 

"See! I told you!" 

It dawned on Pearl that she would have to go home to get a nice pair of pants and a blouse. Color drained from her face. She was not supposed to go home. That was her and Rose's agreement. But Rose should be at work right now. The apartment would be empty. Pearl decided Rose would never know that Pearl entered the apartment. 

"Now share the deets," Amethyst said. 

Pearl took out a plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans. "What?" 

"Tell me what happened." 

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's private." 

"Ugh, you're no fun." 

"I know."

Pearl stood up and made her way to the bathroom. She closed the door, undressed, and put the shower on. Pearl jumped in and let the warm water flow onto her head. For the first time in days, she felt clear. She closed her eyes and leaned against the cool porcelain tiles of the shower. The steam from the hot water rose around her. Pearl knew she would have to present her research. She had presented before at conferences, in front of other scientists, but explaining what she did to a lay person, especially this mayor, filled her with dread. 

This mayor was, in Pearl's opinion, an idiot. William Dewey IV's family technically discovered the town and the town would elect anyone in the Dewey family based on their last name. His intelligence and political skills were lacking, but because his father and grandfather had both been mayor, people lined up to vote for him. A dynasty of ignorance ruled the coastal city. 

After she brushed her teeth and put some mascara on, Pearl changed into the jeans and t-shirt she found in her suitcase. Wet hair clung to the back of her neck. She would have to use a hair dryer. Rose used it more than Pearl did, so Pearl left it at the apartment. She left the bathroom and said, "Ame, do you have a hairdryer?" 

In the living room, Amethyst was curled up on a kitchen chair, reading through Pearl's papers. 

"Don't touch those!" Pearl said. 

"Why? You don't want me to know the secret to stop global warming?" Amethyst jumped off the chair. "Chill. I have a hairdryer." 

Pearl ignored Amethyst's joke and waited for Amethyst to emerge from her mess of a room with a hairdryer for Pearl. Amethyst sat on the toilet as she watched Pearl dry her hair in front of the bathroom mirror.

"Why are you rushing around like a crazy person? Getting mad at me for being interested in what you actually do for once. Even though I still don't even fully know exactly what you do. And you never blow dry your hair." 

"Apparently I'm showing my research to the mayor. And I need to look, well, better than I normally do. It could be important for conservation policy in the city."

"So you're gonna wear a t-shirt to this?" 

"I need to get clothes at home." 

"At home?" Amethyst stood up from the toilet. "You don't want to go home. That would break your agreement with Rose. How much do you need for new clothes? I gotch'u."

"Why don't I want to go home?" Pearl narrowed her eyes at Amethyst. The two knew each other long enough to ignore the literal words that came out of each others' mouths and instead read the tone of their voices. 

"You know why, Pearl." Amethyst looked down at the ground. A somber look in her eyes made Pearl uneasy.

"She's seeing someone? And they're there?" 

"He's probably not there now." 

"He?"

"Yeah. I mean, she's probably at work now, but it's different. You should know before you go." 

"Different how?" Pearl's mind raced. It had been a week. What could be different?

"She took the pictures of you guys down." 

Pearl wanted to cry, but she did not have time for it. "Thank you for letting me know." Pearl seized her papers on the table and left the cottage. 


End file.
